Friday, December 23, 2011

An Open Letter to Every Big Box Retailer


Dear Big Box Store Owner Guy (or Gal),

I am a dad.  Sometimes I take my child shopping with me.  When I visit your store, my child will most likely need a diaper change because nature's little gift never waits for a convenient time.  If I am in your store and my child does decide that it is the appropriate time to let one go, I would like to be able to change her diaper.


If your store has a changing table in your men's room, thank you.  I will continue to shop at your location because I know that you know that dads change diapers too.  I will continue to empty my pockets in order to purchase your wares.

If your store does not have a changing table in your men's room, where would you prefer that I change my child's diaper?  Do you think the ladies that are in the women's restroom would mind if I just walked in to use their changing table?

Should I just open up the lid on that shiny new grill that is on display?  You know, the one with the big red bow on it.  I'm sure my daughter will love the smart looking grill marks on her behind after we're finished.

Perhaps you'd rather I take her to the electronics area where your laptops and cameras are displayed.  There is usually a counter there with an empty spot that I could use.  That section of the store isn't busy at all this time of year.

I thought I saw some nice chairs on display in your furniture area.  Would it be okay if I just used one of those couches?  They look quite comfortable.  I'll probably be buying one at another store.

Maybe you just want me to bring her up to the checkout area.  That's a nice, flat surface of appropriate height.  Of course, if your check out area has a conveyor belt, I will just wait until she gets to the front to make sure it's not moving.  Nobody likes changing a moving baby. I'm sure the hoards of people in line behind me won't mind waiting a few minutes longer.  I don't think they'll mind the smell either.  If you could provide all of your cashiers with baby wipes so that the process goes smoothly no matter which line I pick, that would be fantastic.

Or you could just pony up a few hundred bucks and pay someone to install a diaper changing station in your men's room.  Go ahead and put a big bow on it.  That way I'll know it's from you.

Sincerely,
The Real Matt Daddy
aka the guy who will not be shopping at your store in the future  

7 comments:

  1. Right on, man. Fortunately, or unfortunately, I don't see a lot of men's rooms in public places, so I don't know who the offenders are around me. But it seems like we need to start a blacklist.

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  2. Us ladies would appreciate this as well so we don't always have to be the one changing the diapers.

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  3. I never thought of men's rooms as not having changing tables! I am sure there are many fathers out there that have been in that predicament.

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  4. If you live in NYC, there is a good collection of businesses with changing tables in men's rooms at the Daddy Types blog

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  5. :-) Good one Matt!

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