Tuesday, January 10, 2012

How To Catch A Ninja Cow or a Toddler

The truth is, this post is not going to be that interesting.  I know, I know.... I have let you down.  This can be expected on days when my daughter decides not to take a nap.  There is no time for daddy to write, so therefore, the post that he promised to deliver is sub par material, and he is forced to use tricky titles to get you to click on it.  But ladies and gentlemen, there is actually a ninja cow!  In late September through early October of 2011, an escaped cow eluded the residents of the town of Plattsmouth, Nebraska while eating their lawns and trampling their flowers.  Apparently, nobody could catch the cow because she would disappear into the woods whenever a human approached.  She did have a calf while she was on her little rampage.  Talk about pregnancy hormones.  This cow knew what nature intended.  She was meant to be free!  So, how do you catch a ninja cow?  You outsmart it, right?  Wrong.

A ninja cow cannot be outsmarted.  The residents of Plattsmouth tried to stalk her with an infrared camera and lure her closer with biscuits and gravy (who knew cows ate at Waffle House?).  They even played sweet cow mooing sounds through a laptop computer. But she would not be fooled by the mooing, and I think someone's dog ate the biscuits and gravy but that was never confirmed.  They apparently even hired a contractor to catch the cow, but she just broke out of his pen.  Silly contractors, moo ha ha ha ha!  Ninja cow will not be captured!

Anyway, the only way that they could catch this cow was to get (and I am quoting this exactly as written in the news article) "real old school cowboys" to handle the job.  They mounted some horses and eventually roped her in.  Despite rumors to the contrary, ninja cows do not have a code of honor like the Japanese samurai and did not commit seppuku.

So, how do you catch a toddler that's run away?  Do it the "real old school cowboy" way.  Go get them.  Yes, the old fashioned way, and don't try to corral them.  Just go get them, and hold them tight so you know they won't get away.  At least you know they didn't birth any calves while they were running around.

For those of you that must have the complete footage, here you go:


  1. I needed this today...thank your daughter for me 'cause I prefer this to anything heavy and thoughtful...lol!

  2. Thanks Bruce, I have the "heavy and thoughtful" coming on Friday, don't worry.

  3. Don't forget, if you're going "real old school cowboy", hog tying is in play. Just saying...

  4. Great video - a little hard on the cow.

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