Thursday, September 13, 2012

Are Stay-At-Home Dads Violating God's Design for Men and Women?

That will be the topic this week on Moody Radio's "Up For Debate" which airs on Saturday, September 15th at 9AM EST (8AM CST).

I believe that what I do as an at-home dad does not violate what God wants me to be as a man/husband/father, but actually fulfills it.  I don't believe that every father must be an at-home dad to fulfill the responsibilities that God places on men, but I do believe that every Christian father has the freedom to choose the best definition of "provide" for his own family based on their needs and the unique gifts and talents of each spouse.  I believe that every Christian father has a duty to provide more than money - namely spiritual leadership, the investment of time, demonstrations of love, and involvement in the activities of the home.

Dr. Owen Strachan will be presenting the opposing view, arguing that the "Dad-Mom" (the term he likes to borrow from an advertising campaign by TIDE) is a "Man-Fail".  I think he will be surprised when I AGREE WITH HIM.  The commercial he uses to define at-home dads was a terrible example of the attitudes of most at-home dads.  It was clearly an "advertising fail" and if real at-home dads acted like that guy in the commercial, we would be failing as well.

I don't think that most at-home dads are trying to be moms.  I think they just want to be fantastic fathers!  Not only that, I think it is easy to make assumptions about what we are and what we do when you don't talk to us before writing a ridiculous article about a commercial that a lot of us hated enough to write about.  He could have easily chosen to write about the shorter version of the same commercial that was much more reflective of the attitude that most of us have about our roles as primary caregiver (pssst... it's about the kids!)  For additional reading, see what each of these bloggers thought about the very same set of commercials:

The Daddy Doctrines, NYC Dads Group, 8Bit Dad, CBS NEWS, DaddyMojo, and oh yeah, The Real Matt Daddy.

For those who would be interested in hearing this debate, you can listen live HERE and you can also participate by calling in at (312)-274-9624 (sorry, there is no 800 number).


  1. What I hope you are able to point out is that if men can't be primary caregivers according to the Bible, then why can women be in the workforce? It looks like the host of the show is an accomplished professional woman. Was she supposed to forgo her career to care for the home as the Bible says? Nobody who bashes at-home dads for being unchristian ever touch that part of the debate. And, I gotta say, if it's okay for women to work, it has to be okay for men to stay home.

    1. Check her bio... She took a 13 year hiatus to raise her kids. Don't assume anything. If I were Matt I would get some verses together because census data not carry the same weight.

  2. I refuse to raise my two daughters to be strong independent women some, with the caveat that some day they will be forced to give up their life and do things according to their husband's will or God's will or whatever. If they choose to have children and raise them at home, that is also their choice (and a great and fulfilling one, if I may say so myself.)

    The whole debate also discounts a HUGE amount of "non-traditional" family arrangements in society who have to live often according to the hand they were dealt. Widowed husbands and wives, divorcees, single moms and dads, and many others can't just run out and round up a "traditional" family. Most of them are dealing with "God's will" already. Every day.

    Looking forward to hearing the debate!

  3. Thanks, Al. If we stayed with his interpretation, then women should never be allowed to work, even before they have kids or after the kids are grown. It should be an interesting discussion.

  4. Thanks, Phil.

  5. I believe the bible does lay out guidelines but humans like to use those to sesperate us all instead of unite. The number one thing is your faith and relationship with god as he says he is and Jesus as he says he is. If you have that everything else will fall in to place. Saved by faith/grace NOT works. If your heart is in the right place God knows and judges you on that! We would all love to have the perfect traditional roles but life isn't perfect and neither are people so it just doesn't work out where dad works and mom stays home. Jesus came to save us from imperfection!



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