Friday, April 29, 2011

Creepy Peas

You read it correctly.  I said creepy peas.

My daughter has this thing with peas.  I'm not sure what it is about them that makes her do what she does, but as a father, I am struggling to understand it.  Yesterday, she added a new trick with them.  She took a handful and and held her arm at full extension.  After reaching as far as she could, she slowly opened her hand one finger at a time, and let the peas fall one by one to the tray.  Inevitably, the last pea sticks to her hand and she ends up twiddling it around like a fushigi ball until it falls as well.  These actions by themselves are not that creepy.  It's when she is finished with her new trick that she begins to follow her general rules for eating peas.  Here is where it gets creepy...

My Daughter's Rules for Eating Peas in a Creepy Way

1. As soon as peas are dropped onto the high chair tray, say "Ooohh" as if you are excited.
2. Ignore the peas until mommy and daddy aren't looking, eat something else on the tray if necessary.
3. While mommy and daddy have their backs turned, isolate one pea at a time on your tray.
4. Absolute silence must be kept at all times so that mommy and daddy turn around at just the right moment.
5. Place your index finger on top of the pea.  If necessary, roll the pea to get it centered up.
6. As soon as mommy and daddy turn around to check on you, smash the pea so that the insides pop out.
7. Stare intently at what you've just done so that mommy and daddy are creeped out.
8. Repeat until bored.

Until you see it with your own eyes, you have no idea how creepy it is.  She takes such pleasure in squashing every individual pea and stares so intently... I've got chills just thinking about it.

That's all for this week folks.  I will be posting new content on Monday/Wednesday/Friday, and sending Tweets out on Tuesday/Thursday for the Twitter followers.  Have a good weekend!

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