If You're Happy and You Know It

My daughter is going through a phase right now where she claps for everything.  If we give her more of a food she likes, there is clapping.  If there is a song on tv and it stops, she claps as if it were the symphony of a lifetime.  When we ask her what her name is and she says, "Nah-nah" (she can't handle the "J" yet), we say "Good job!" and she applauds herself for her great performance.  This is a great feature that babies have!  How cool is it that your child comes with a built-in instruction manual on this topic, complete with pictures for even the slowest parent?  It shows us that we need to praise our children.

We all know the dad that is too hard on their kids, never praising and always criticizing...



We all know some parents who flat out ignore their kids...




or moms treat them as an accessory to be worn as a showpiece to co-workers and friends...



It makes me sick to think about this because it is so easy to praise a child.  When they are young and learning, there are so many opportunities to say "Great job!" that by the time your child stops giving you the instructions, it should be a habit.

And that's really the sad part that a lot of dads miss.  Your child WILL lose the desire to praise themself, and they will seek that praise somewhere else if they don't get it from you.  Daughters need to hear from their fathers that they are beautiful and smart and protected.  If not, they may seek that attention from someone else.  Sons need to know they they are wild men, warriors, capable of being a man and protecting a smart, beautiful woman (see the book Wild at Heart for more information on this topic).  If they don't hear this from their own father, or a father figure, they end up wandering aimlessly without the guts to tackle the challenges the world brings.

I want to speak to dads because I am a dad.  I know that moms struggle with this too, but I think we live in a culture that portrays fathers as dumb couch potato types that have no control over, and no involvement with, their kids.  It's time to change.  Your kid is telling you how.  Start today.  If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands and praise your kid!